Circulation Desk

Spring 2020: Stories, Empowerment, and Getting Our Bother On

What a strange spring it has been. Five days after my last issue of Circulation Desk, our world went into various stages of quarantine. Slowly, some are coming out of it, though a new sense of uncertainty lingers around most of life. 

It sure has messed with my reading life. My plans to read some ambitious books - think long nonfiction - have been replaced with somewhat lighter fare. “Light” doesn’t necessarily mean not thought-provoking, though. 

Cages and Keys

In early April I joined millions of women in America and read Glennon Doyle’s new book, Untamed. I was moved by the book. Doyle is full of compassion and her voice is compelling and prophetic. I was thrilled to organize a group of women from my church who spent four weeks discussing the book over Zoom. These women were of various ages and all told important stories of how Untamed spoke to them. We shared generously how we saw the “cages” in which we find ourselves. We labeled our “keys” to freedom and stories of what freedom has looked like to each of us. 

I wouldn’t trade that shared experience of reading that book. It meant a lot to me and the others in the group. So much so that we may tackle more books in the future, empowering one another. 

But just as we were concluding this book study, George Floyd died in the custody of the police in Minneapolis and protests have broken out across the country in response. 

I have a heightened awareness that black and brown people would not view our discussion of “cages” and “keys” in the same way. Our discussion group was mostly white ladies. The cages and keys we talked about are ones we can get out of especially by leaning on each other. For black and brown people, caged by white supremacy and systemic racism, the same keys will not be available until we all take much needed collective actions to make it so. 

Power of Stories

For now, my goal is to listen to more black voices. Right now, I’ve started following more women of color on social media platforms. Try @rachel.cargle and @christenacleveland on Instagram. I’m also making a list of books to read and movies to watch. There are so many influential people putting out great lists, I feel like any attempt I would make here would be subpar.  I will recommend this piece by Ta-Nehisi Coates. It’s a long article, but if you can set aside any strong feelings you might have about the title, give it a go. 

The unrest about race only amplifies the power of stories. Stories give life and blood to our moral wrestlings. Yes, they often complicate and confuse our understanding of the world, but that is their power. Out of that confusion we emerge with new understanding and often greater compassion.  It is my hope that in future issues of this newsletter, more stories from people of color will be featured here. 

Spring Highlights

Interestingly, the themes of freedom and empowerment were threaded throughout my reading (and watching) this spring, highlighting various traps of both circumstance and the traps of one’s own making. 

Courage in Difficult Circumstances

I am a huge fan of Elena Ferrante’s quartet of books known as The Neapolitan Novels. These novels follow the lives of Lila and Elena from young girlhood into older adulthood. The girls are born in poverty in an insulated neighborhood in Naples. The novels begin in the 1950s when Lila and Elena bond as bright girls with imaginations a little bigger than the neighborhood in which they live allows for them. As they grow up and as the 20th Century brings changes - political, economic, technological - Lila and Elena’s paths diverge and we see their personal transformations but also those of the neighborhood, the city, the country, and the world. 

HBO has adapted these novels into a television series with beautiful production values, including a score from Max Richter. The first series, based on the first book, My Brilliant Friend, aired about a year and half ago. The second series, based on The Story of a New Name, aired this Spring. I have enjoyed these adaptations very much and the second is even better than the first. The two actresses cast as the grown-up leads are excellent and everything about these productions feels worthy of the books. Both characters are courageous in different ways as their particular circumstances change. The books, and now the series, invite study and discussion, but they are also just enjoyable. 

I also enjoyed watching the series Mrs. America on Hulu. This series also has a great cast and production values, telling the stories of the women’s rights movement from the late 1960s until the election of Ronald Reagan. The series shifts perspectives in each episode, but stays centered around Gloria Steinem, Bella Abzug, Betty Friedan, and Phyllis Schlafly. Again, the characters are courageous in different ways and seeing the stories told from shifting perspectives helps to highlight that what is courageous for one woman in one situation wouldn’t necessarily require the same courage from another. 

I enjoyed reading Sue Monk Kidd’s new novel, The Book of Longings, which imagines that Jesus had a wife named Ana who was educated and a writer who took her own courageous risks to leave behind stories of her own. 

Just as my social isolation got underway, I read Abel’s Island by William Steig. Abel is a mouse who gets swept away from his wife during a rain storm and has to spend a year on an island all by himself before courageously making the journey back home. It is a charming story and would be a good one for kids who are struggling with social distancing during this time. 

The Traps We Create

If I hadn’t read Lori Gottlieb’s Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, I’m not sure I would have picked up on this thread in my reading this spring. Gottlieb is a therapist and her memoir serves as a primer of sorts to the benefits and scope of personal therapy. As she tells her story of seeking therapy and relays the stories of a few of her clients, she shares some basic psychology and helps you see the potential of talking to a “professional” someone. 

One of the metaphors she uses is standing behind a caged wall and wondering how we can get out without looking to our sides to see that the cage is only in front of us and has no sides. We can get out if we want, but many of us choose not to. The cage exists only in how we have constructed our reality. Glennon Doyle’s Untamed does a great job of illustrating how we do this, but several novels that I read this spring also show the wide variety of ways we do this. 

The Nine Perfect Strangers in Liane Moriarty’s latest novel explore their own traps while being literally trapped together at a wellness retreat center. This book is fun, but also thought-provoking and warm. Or maybe I just identified a bit too much with the 52-year-old protagonist about being middle aged. 

Yes, The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman, The Bromance Book Club by Lyssa Kay Adams, and Big Summer by Jennifer Weiner are all romances, but there might not be a better genre, actually, for exploring ours inner world and the patterns that keep us from being happy with another person. Likewise, mysteries like A Nearly Normal Family by M.T. Edvardsson and Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas can bring to light the mysteries we are most afraid of and fight to keep secret. 

I also want to recommend two books that I read involving quartets. The Ensemble by Aja Gabel is an actual music quartet, a string quartet who meet at a conservatory and build their professional lives around each other as a successful musical ensemble. The book follows the group through several decades and shows how they each grow and respond to each other as well as how they refuse to change. I also loved The Dearly Beloved by Cara Wall. This is a story of two married couples. When the men are hired in the 1960s to co-pastor a church in Manhattan, they are able to see early on how they complement each other for the benefit of the congregation. It takes their wives longer but they get there eventually, revealing that how we choose to respond to the people who become a part of our lives makes a big difference. 

Mastery

The last set of stories that moved me this spring are stories of mastery, all of which feature overcoming particular obstacles. I am enjoying the current season of Top Chef which is an All-Star version. Given that these chefs have all been in this competition before, they are able to reflect more clearly on what they’ve learned and how they’ve grown. And though they remain competitive, they also seem to have a bit more humility as well. 

Humility was definitely not a feature of Michael Jordan’s career as revealed in the fascinating ESPN series The Last Dance. And yet, Jordan learned to master his passion and energy in ways to help his team win six national championships in the NBA during the 1990s. This documentary series features extensive interviews with Jordan as well as Phil Jackson, Scottie Pippin, and other Bulls teammates. You witness Jordan’s career unfold across two decades and you’re left wondering “if only they’d tried one more time.”  Their individual stories and their shared story are all worth listening to. I started watching the series because my husband wanted to and I was drawn into each episode. 

I re-read Piano Lessons by Noah Adams in March. As my social isolation got underway, I was looking for some motivation to spend time with my piano and I remember that it was my first reading of Adams’ book in the mid-1990s that started me on my piano-playing journey. I still can’t say that I’m as dedicated to my practice as I’d like, but I did enjoy Adams’ humility and experimentation to find an approach to learning the piano that worked for him, not to mention the discussions of music, musicians and piano construction. 

Why Bother?

Last, but not at all least, is Jennifer Louden’s new book, Why Bother. I had a unique opportunity to be on a Zoom presentation with Louden and about 20 other people to ask her questions about the book. The premise is that we all face different kinds of discouragements at different times that lead us to ask, “why bother?” She describes her book as a toolkit for the steps you need to take to “get your bother on.” If you feel stuck or are wondering what’s next in your life, I bet you would find some useful advice in this book. 

For me, I am bothered by a lot of what I see happening in our world. For now, I am paying attention and listening. I’m also going to do plenty of “escape” or “beach” reading this summer, even if I can’t go to the beach or a pool. Since I’ve been working from home, it’s been harder and harder not to work all the time,  so balance will be the key for me to be able to get my bother on when I need to.  May you find plenty of escape and bother in your summer season as well. Happy reading!

Blessings and peace,

Karen